The Power of "In Here" Change
by Dr. Keith E. Webb
Change is essential in life. Growth is change, so is decline. There's no avoiding change.
We all want change, but we want others to do the changing or at least change first! It reminds me of Sallah from Raiders of the Lost Ark: "Asps, very dangerous - you go first." Without knowing it, we can expend a great deal of energy avoiding change.
Goals and problems can be approached from many different directions. Some approaches seek to change things "out there" and some to seek to change things "in here," that is, inside the client.
Take Kevin for example:
Kevin was completely overwhelmed with emails, reports, and project details. He wanted coaching to find a way to get organized. I quickly realized he didn't need any ideas, tips, or planning systems - he had tried them all. I asked Kevin, "what inside you is holding you back?"
"My disorganization," he replied.
"Ok, imagine yourself organized. What does that look like?" He described it, then I asked, "What needs to change in you to allow that state of organization to happen?"
He closed his eyes and listed off the changes, "I need to let go of things. I need to be happy with other people's way of doing things, and to only 80% of my satisfaction. I need to stick to my main tasks and not have my hands into everything. I need to be willing to equip others to do things, rather than just doing the tasks myself."
We coached around these inner changes for the next few months. Kevin struggled through and made huge progress.
Reaching challenging goals or solving sticky problems can only be done through inner transformation.
"Out There" Approaches
An external approach to a goal or problem is to generate new ways to approach it, look for systemic changes, or apply increased effort from those involved. Goals cannot be reached or problems solved without actions by our clients or by others. We must actually do something.
In the example above, Kevin had tried different schedule planners, accountability partners, email "hours", electronic lists, and read several books for more ideas.
- What reasons might account for this situation?
- What needs to be done differently?
- Which ideas, if implemented, would give the greatest positive impact?
- Who could help?
"In Here" Approaches
In internal approach to a goal or problem is to generate ways for your client to think or act. This approach assumes that there are attitudes, beliefs, values, as well as, hang-ups in us that cause us to limit our thinking or even sabotage our efforts. Until these internal changes are made, we often cannot implement to a full degree the external ideas we have.
When Kevin, in the example above, changed his thinking many of the ideas he had previous tried (the external approaches) actually helped. The key was changing his thinking.
- What changes must take place in you?
- What inside you is holding you back?
- How do you need to think and act differently to accomplish this?
In practice, a combination of internal and external approaches are helpful. Often we begin by exploring the external factors and then move to internal ones.
Nothing changes without personal transformation.
- W. Edwards Deming
Our thinking limits us. By changing the way we think, it's amazing how quickly we see progress. More and more, I'm realizing that the change that is needed to "fix" something out there, needs to begin in me.
-------Join the dialogue and leave your comments here-------
Copyright © 2009 Keith E. Webb & CRM
Find more coaching articles here.
Read: What's the First Question in Planning?
Editors, publishers & webmasters: You may reprint these articles free of charge if you follow our reprint guidelines.
 Dr. Keith E. Webb is a trainer and experienced cross-cultural leadership coach helping organizations, teams, and individuals multiply their cross-cultural impact. Find free articles at http://www.CreativeResultsManagement.com.
|
